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| My painting- Kauai Footbridge |
Looking in the mirror the reflection is not just me anymore, and the mirror is not one that hangs on wall for there’s no wall large enough to fit the mirror that illuminates the beauty in the reminders that no longer haunt me when I look at the image shining back at me.
For this is the reflection that I’ve never yet seen until now, and it makes me think with wonder…how I have always been created to be who I am, and even though I have never seen myself this way until now, my creator, the one who made me, has never seen me as anything else than the perfection within His reflection for I was created just like Him...we all are!
I’ve looked in every mirror as far back as I can remember, always wondering when I would become the me I always dreamed was possible to be. But as far back as I can remember, every moment felt like it took forever, and I never even knew that when your dreams are bigger than you are, that you were never created to do it alone …
As a little girl, “grownups” told me fairy tales don’t really come true, but I never gave up believing, striving, passionately pursuing, studying, and overcoming every obstacle and opposition of those who tried to convince me that I needed to stop living in a "fantasy world" and come back to reality.
What amazes me is how perception alters our reality, and most of the time all the facts and what we think we see co-mingles who we believe we are within the guilt, shame and ego of who we once were. And in order to face the world, and ourselves hiding behind the curtain that we call “another day” self - justification takes place inside to subdue the emotional agony that grips every fiber of our being…
I have felt incapacitated throughout my life, all while whirling deep within the emotional and dizzying spiral into the abyss of hopelessness with every moment that goes by because I stood behind the curtain rather than just stepping out underneath the brilliant lights and walking out onto the big breathtaking stage of life.
It is our survival instinct that kicks in. The fight, flight or total paralyzation like a deer caught in headlights that resorts to primal fear; a strangulating force which is accursed and interwoven throughout the infinite generations that have preceded us.
From our beginning, to be still for even a moment, was certain death, and to be the one responsible for masterminding the “trouble” was even worse.
Humanity is filled with unsung heroes and misfits just trying to find a way to become old enough to take the plunge into the freedom to really call our own shots…to take the dare- you know the one where your heart can hear in the warm summer breeze as it whispers to you that anything is possible!
Within the unexpected there lies the myriad of variables too numerous to have backup and exit plans established so that if we leap and land funny, that we don’t as they say in the industry, “Break a leg”…we’re not blindsided and left open and totally defenseless in a moment where we feel we’re going to die;
Overwhelmed by pain that overloads the motherboard of our human circuitry, and we are rendered frozen all over again by the reminder of past and fear of the unknown we call future.
For this is the reflection that I’ve never yet seen until now, and it makes me think with wonder…how I have always been created to be who I am, and even though I have never seen myself this way until now, my creator, the one who made me, has never seen me as anything else than the perfection within His reflection for I was created just like Him...we all are!
I’ve looked in every mirror as far back as I can remember, always wondering when I would become the me I always dreamed was possible to be. But as far back as I can remember, every moment felt like it took forever, and I never even knew that when your dreams are bigger than you are, that you were never created to do it alone …
As a little girl, “grownups” told me fairy tales don’t really come true, but I never gave up believing, striving, passionately pursuing, studying, and overcoming every obstacle and opposition of those who tried to convince me that I needed to stop living in a "fantasy world" and come back to reality.
What amazes me is how perception alters our reality, and most of the time all the facts and what we think we see co-mingles who we believe we are within the guilt, shame and ego of who we once were. And in order to face the world, and ourselves hiding behind the curtain that we call “another day” self - justification takes place inside to subdue the emotional agony that grips every fiber of our being…
I have felt incapacitated throughout my life, all while whirling deep within the emotional and dizzying spiral into the abyss of hopelessness with every moment that goes by because I stood behind the curtain rather than just stepping out underneath the brilliant lights and walking out onto the big breathtaking stage of life.
It is our survival instinct that kicks in. The fight, flight or total paralyzation like a deer caught in headlights that resorts to primal fear; a strangulating force which is accursed and interwoven throughout the infinite generations that have preceded us.
From our beginning, to be still for even a moment, was certain death, and to be the one responsible for masterminding the “trouble” was even worse.
Humanity is filled with unsung heroes and misfits just trying to find a way to become old enough to take the plunge into the freedom to really call our own shots…to take the dare- you know the one where your heart can hear in the warm summer breeze as it whispers to you that anything is possible!
Within the unexpected there lies the myriad of variables too numerous to have backup and exit plans established so that if we leap and land funny, that we don’t as they say in the industry, “Break a leg”…we’re not blindsided and left open and totally defenseless in a moment where we feel we’re going to die;
Overwhelmed by pain that overloads the motherboard of our human circuitry, and we are rendered frozen all over again by the reminder of past and fear of the unknown we call future.
When everything comes to a screeching halt regardless of whether it’s an emotion or physiological sensory malfunction, our brain interprets what has just happened as a life and death situation… And to be perfectly honest, it is!
Because it is within that moment, and what you choose in the next moments that follow are crucial to the outcome. There is nothing that you can’t do if you believe that you can, and nothing you can do if you believe that you can’t…never forget that for it has the power to remind you of exactly how powerful the Master Jehovah, Lord Almighty actually created you to be in every moment including this one right now…not someday!
You see, each moment that is spent just going through the motions, means that you are totally on autopilot. I found that the more on autopilot I was, the more fear there was. Fear became the awareness that I was thinking too much and doing too little. Each moment of my life it didn’t matter how hard I worked, how much I knew, or how perfectly I tried to do everything I was told to do. I found that I could never meet anyone’s expectations because I was covertly furious that I had absolutely no idea how to meet my own.
For what seems like forever, this way of thinking and struggling only resulted in immeasurable pain, loss, and the self imposed judgments that never seem to quiet and make everything open to critique.
Ultimately the judgment which is always built upon the foundation of doubt and unbelief does have its own “belief systems,”…and there is absolutely nobody who can shatter the impenetrable power that is only found in the unity of belief...except you!
Because it is within that moment, and what you choose in the next moments that follow are crucial to the outcome. There is nothing that you can’t do if you believe that you can, and nothing you can do if you believe that you can’t…never forget that for it has the power to remind you of exactly how powerful the Master Jehovah, Lord Almighty actually created you to be in every moment including this one right now…not someday!
You see, each moment that is spent just going through the motions, means that you are totally on autopilot. I found that the more on autopilot I was, the more fear there was. Fear became the awareness that I was thinking too much and doing too little. Each moment of my life it didn’t matter how hard I worked, how much I knew, or how perfectly I tried to do everything I was told to do. I found that I could never meet anyone’s expectations because I was covertly furious that I had absolutely no idea how to meet my own.
For what seems like forever, this way of thinking and struggling only resulted in immeasurable pain, loss, and the self imposed judgments that never seem to quiet and make everything open to critique.
Ultimately the judgment which is always built upon the foundation of doubt and unbelief does have its own “belief systems,”…and there is absolutely nobody who can shatter the impenetrable power that is only found in the unity of belief...except you!
You are stronger than you realize, and more amazing than you will ever know unless you are willing to leap into the unknown. For this is the place where even though there are no guarantees, you will never know how awesome life has really been created to be unless you are willing to live vulnerably, and trust in yourself and the one who made you. You were created for such a time as this, right now!
You are not ordinary, you are amazing and the one who made you designed you so uniquely that there is nobody in all of creation who can do what you can do the way you were created to do it! Dare to believe in yourself, dare to discover who you are beyond everything you think you see or know. You are more than enough, and you are the Master's greatest work of art!
You are love and you are loved!
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